One way or another. I’m gonna find. I’m gonna getcha getcha getcha. Maybe Next week…. If you haven’t figured it out yet, these are lyrics to a Blondie song. Tini and I sang our hearts out to this lovely song… well it was lovely before we sang it. Don’t get me wrong, Tini sings pretty well, I on the other hand sound like the seagull from The Disney move Ariel.. .. In other words Horrible.
But I LOVE Tini and she has always wanted to have the courage to sing Karaoke (don’t ask me way…she is a bit crazy that way, but that’s why we love her). So, being the good friend I am, I volunteer to sing with her. Mind you, I have NEVER sang Karaoke and I could’ve went the rest of my life without singing Karaoke, but I did it for her (those poor people in the audience).
When she asked if we could do it another time, I said “Tini, This is probably the only chance you will have to get in on stage to sing in front of people. So you better take me up on it” Tini, being the wise women she is, did.
“What song should we sing” Tini asks me.
“I don’t care, Pick on” I replied, because I knew It didn’t matter, I was going to sound awful. Besides how hard could reading from a teleprompter be?
Tini Picked One way or another by Blondie. Which I have only heard a few times, but what the hell, Tini obviously knows the lyrics and I can read… How bad can it be?
After the electric slide line dance, we were up. (Yes, I made Tini get on stage/dance floor and do the electric slide…poor girl). I get on stage, ready to make a complete fool of myself. This way, people will talk about my craziness, instead of the nails on chalkboard voice I have.
One Way or another… we belt out. Tini is singing her heart out until…we get past the chorus. Apparently, she wasn’t too familiar with the lyrics either. Well, since I had NO idea how the non Chorus part sounded, I started making up words. Then when I got really desperate, I talked the words. Klassy!
The best part is, we got a standing ovation… ok that part was in my dreams, but we did get a few applause (ya have to love friends). Some people were laughing, I’m not sure if it was our antics or our singing… I’m going with antics.
In short, Tini got to conquer one of her fears and I got to make a fool out of myself (Nothing new there). So the next time you hear One Way or another imagine two (hotties) girls singing it at the top of their lungs while doing pelvic thrusts and waving the microphone cord around….
Did I hear Encore?

Sensible Cosmo “Cosmo, don’t you dare say a word. Seriously, I Mean it! You are just feeling emotional and taking things WAY to personal. See if you feel the same way tomorrow.”
Hormone Crazed Cosmo “But it’s just one little question, what’s the big deal? I’m just curious. I won’t get upset or mad”
Sensible Cosmo “NO! This is a Mistake! You Always regret it later! SHUT UP!”
Hormone Crazed Cosmo “It’s not such a big deal… it a small question. And I will feel this way tomorrow, so I should go ahead and get it over with. We will work it out & make lots of whoppi”
Sensible Cosmo ”Are you CRA-ZY?! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!”
Hormone Crazed Cosmo ” But….”
Sensible Cosmo “Zip IT! Zip! IT! Remember what happened last month. Just go to sleep!”
Hormone Crazed Cosmo “That was a one time thing”
Sensible Cosmo “ZIP…”
Out Loud Cosmo says to her BF while they are lying in bed “Do you appreciate when I do things for you?”
Sensible Cosmo “I told you to FUCKING SHUT UP! Did you listen? NO!”
Hormone Crazed Cosmo “It won’t be bad… you will see”
BF “What are you talking about? Do you think I don’t appreciate you? Why do you think that?....”
….A few minutes of conversation has passedBF “So you think I don’t care about you?”So there ya have it… the rollercoaster of PMS. It happens to me EVERY month. I KNOW I have emotional moments and that I am better off just keeping my mouth shut, but it NEVER seems to work out that way. It’s like I can’t control what comes out of my mouth. Somehow the conversation seems to turn (on a dime) from the price of chicken to how things are not going well in our relationship.
It’s like a god dammed rollercoaster. I try, really TRY to NOT get on that rollercoaster, but it’s like some unforeseen force pushes me. This force (lets call it the Pain In the Fucking Ass Hormone. PITFAH for short), says “Cosmo, your life has been too normal and great, it’s time to throw some unnecessary drama in the mix”
I hate the PITFAH! I shake my fist at the PITFAH! The PITFAH is what makes me yell at the Chinese take out lady because she didn’t give my soy sauce right away or makes me want to sell my own soul for Chocolate.
The good news is, I now know the PITFAH exists. I just need to figure out how to control this mad, mad, beast!PITFAH “What did you mean when by the commit “I was pretty good” last month?”FUCKING PITFAH! You’re EVIL!!!Hormone Crazed Cosmo