Underwear Crisis
In 2007 I found myself single, after being in a very LONG relationship. After a few weeks, I finally decided to be happy about my liberation (AKA Single Life) and I embraced it with open manly arms. I Immedialty starting making LOTS of new friends, going out all the time, getting lots of attention (A hot guy tripping over himself to say hello is a HUGE injection of self confidence), and learning to love life. During my adventures, I began discover something was amiss. You guessed it, it was the underwear crisis of 2007. Normally I didn’t wear panties at all (Did I mention I hate doing laundry?), but on rare occurrences, I would wear comfortable white panties. Imagine my horror when I discovered… I was granny panty girl *Phcho scream*. My Knickers were soo bad that I made bridget Jones look good.
Typical girl stuff, like pretty matching (NONE of my underwear matched) underwear or makeup was never my thing. I had always concentrated on my education, self improvement, and my career. Being single made me realize packaging (makeup and underwear, to name a few) was important. I ask you, What does a girl do when they find out, they are “granny panties girl”? Does she crawl into the corner and cry…of course NOT! She goes on an underwear shopping spree *YaHoo*.
1st stop… Victoria Secrets. I was surprised that the trip to VS was so… shocking. For someone that is use to buying panties in plastic packages containing 5 pairs, I suffered some sticker shock. 50.00 for ONE bra? $12.00+ for one pair of Panties? *Chocking sounds* After my shock subsided, I sucked it up and spent a small fortune for colorful, silky, lacy thongs and MATCHING bras.
My quest continued for months. Everywhere I went shopping, and I went shopping A LOT, I looked for cute underwear. Target was a great find. They weren’t too expensive, had good quality and a nice selection. Old Navy also had (and still has) some great panties. Not to mention a few shops in the mall that had 5 panties for $10.00.
A friend once asked me, “Is it worth spending soo much money on cute underwear?”
With a huge smile on my face I answered “Yes, it absolutely was! And the compliments I get, don’t hurt either”
The moral of this story, is buy a pretty pair of undies, just for you. And when you are pissed at your boss, or start to feel a bit down, remember your pretty undies. You will be surprised how much it will brighten your day.
Free Beer and Hotties
Stupid breakup nonsense! Why can't we just get over people quickly and get on with our lives? When are scientists going to come up with a solution...well besides prosac.
In the meantime, I've found friends to be the best cure for a breakup. I can call them at all hours the night, bitch and complain about how things have turned out and through it all, they don't come over and kill me. :)
Here is one way Tini shows her support.
Tini texts me "Are you going to the corporate 5K?"
I respond with a whitty "Well, I'm not really in good enough shape to run, but if you want to walk it, ok"
Tini - "They have free beer and there will be lots of hotties there"
"Where are my damn running shoes?"
Tini really knows how to be a friend and modivate at the same time. Maybe she should be a modivational speaker?
Crusin Cosmo
And what should appear?
"You'll be her mighty lion making her heart explode every night!" in my email for a wonderfully inventive spammer. I think it's inspiration for my new pickup line (Since I'm single...watch out fellas)
Cosmo's new pickup line
"Will you be my mighty Lion?"
Peep martini
Catherinette’s Pink Peeptini Recipe (Yes I stole the recipe, but it was too good to not share!)
1 oz limoncello
1 oz raspberry vodka
1 tsp frozen pink lemonade concentrate
1 pink peep
Mix the liquid ingredients in a shaker with ice, pour into a martini glass. Don’t forget to float the peep.
I think I'll make this drink at the next Wine & Whine
Ultimate Breakup Email
Warning this may not be "Work Approporate" because you might fall out of your chair laughing!
Ultimate Breakup letter - breakupemail.com
Dear Creepy Guy that likes Shiny Objects,
I'm writing you this email because I think our relationship has run its course. Do you realize that you're a total loser? It might be hard for you to believe, but one thing I can tell you for sure: you really need to work on your skills in bed. I mean, you're just plain bad at sex. And another thing: take a freakin shower! You smell so bad that the garbage collectors wonder what the smell is when they come down the street. Here's some food for thought: you're an asshole! It's not easy to carry on a successful relationship with someone like you. And by that, I mean someone who is downright stupid, you feebleminded dimwit. Oh yeah, I almost forgot to point out that you're pure evil, a characteristic that most people do NOT appreciate. You might want to work on that.
What really breaks the deal is your horrible grammar. Srsly d00d, learn 2 rite a sentance!
Sorry, but you're not even worth keeping as a friend. Why are you so boring? I've seen rocks that are more interesting than you. I never want to see you again, jerkface! Stay away from me or I'll beat you with a frozen salmon. I think you get the idea: this relationship is over.
I hope maggots devour your testicles,Cosmo
Thanks catherinett for that Wonderful website!