One way or another. I’m gonna find. I’m gonna getcha getcha getcha. Maybe Next week…. If you haven’t figured it out yet, these are lyrics to a Blondie song. Tini and I sang our hearts out to this lovely song… well it was lovely before we sang it. Don’t get me wrong, Tini sings pretty well, I on the other hand sound like the seagull from The Disney move Ariel.. .. In other words Horrible.
But I LOVE Tini and she has always wanted to have the courage to sing Karaoke (don’t ask me way…she is a bit crazy that way, but that’s why we love her). So, being the good friend I am, I volunteer to sing with her. Mind you, I have NEVER sang Karaoke and I could’ve went the rest of my life without singing Karaoke, but I did it for her (those poor people in the audience).
When she asked if we could do it another time, I said “Tini, This is probably the only chance you will have to get in on stage to sing in front of people. So you better take me up on it” Tini, being the wise women she is, did.
“What song should we sing” Tini asks me.
“I don’t care, Pick on” I replied, because I knew It didn’t matter, I was going to sound awful. Besides how hard could reading from a teleprompter be?
Tini Picked One way or another by Blondie. Which I have only heard a few times, but what the hell, Tini obviously knows the lyrics and I can read… How bad can it be?
After the electric slide line dance, we were up. (Yes, I made Tini get on stage/dance floor and do the electric slide…poor girl). I get on stage, ready to make a complete fool of myself. This way, people will talk about my craziness, instead of the nails on chalkboard voice I have.
One Way or another… we belt out. Tini is singing her heart out until…we get past the chorus. Apparently, she wasn’t too familiar with the lyrics either. Well, since I had NO idea how the non Chorus part sounded, I started making up words. Then when I got really desperate, I talked the words. Klassy!
The best part is, we got a standing ovation… ok that part was in my dreams, but we did get a few applause (ya have to love friends). Some people were laughing, I’m not sure if it was our antics or our singing… I’m going with antics.
In short, Tini got to conquer one of her fears and I got to make a fool out of myself (Nothing new there). So the next time you hear One Way or another imagine two (hotties) girls singing it at the top of their lungs while doing pelvic thrusts and waving the microphone cord around….
Did I hear Encore?

Rss feeds ROCK! I can see all the deals on new egg, the latest update on my Favorite blogs all on my google homepage. I even have a few saved searches on Craigslist.

While looking at my saved search for "Couch" this showed up. http://orlando.craigslist.org/fuo/1141956936.html

Just in case the link isn't valid anymore (After an item is sold the link usually doesn't stay up) here are the details

We have a big couch we need to get rid of before we move out. It's in perfect condition, no tears, stains, or strange odors, from a non-smoking house.
Couch Features:
Two reclining seats
Fold down middle seat
Two cup holders
Vibrating seats

Vibrating seats? Seriously. I'm sooo tempted to buy it, but who knows what kind of substances have been spilled on it.

Couchin' (Not sure what that means...) Cosmo

Do you have a pair of Skinny jeans that stare at you every time you enter your closet? The jeans that dare you to put them on, while sliently laughing? Maybe it's a pair you had in High school and have been refusing to throw away, even though they have a hole in the hooha.

Well Tuesday, I tried on those Jeans. I would love to tell you that they fit me great and made my bootie look like something to sing about, but I would be lying. The truth is, I was able to get them on (a good step), but I looked a bit like an overstuffed sausage. But there is a silver lining.

Tuesday I tried on a halter top that I bought last year when I was pretty thin. I hadn't been able to wear it because it's super tight and shows EVERYTHING. But this time, when I tried it on, it looked good! Not two weeks ago, It would've looked awful, but this week...yahoo! Of course I asked my roommate(AKA Tini) to verify (I had no desire to look like an overstuffed sausage in public) and she said it looked great!

So I went out with some friends in a pair of jeans I couldn't fit into two weeks ago (not my skinny jeans, but semi-skinny jeans) and a red haulter top that left nothing to the imagination. The best news of all is that I got compliments from everyone and stares from complete strangers. :)

Now all I need to do is to start "getting my flirt on" and get myself a date with a hot fireman!

I’m still laughing about the way I acted the other day so I wanted to share. I had a fake mustache from a social event at the skating rink. I have no clue what a fake mustache has to do with skating but everyone got one thanks to Cosmo and it was fun. This little detail will become important later.

After skating we all went out to eat. I was seated next to a social acquaintance who was telling me about his ex girlfriend in a not so nice way. I can relate to needing to talk about an ex so I wanted to be there and show support. Plus the story was pretty juicy and everyone likes a little gossip and scandal now and then. Considering this I think I was probably provoking him in some ways to share his story.

But this was not the first time he had told me the story and his ex is also an acquaintance of mine. Plus I think people often act badly in relationships for a variety of reasons and sharing this ‘dirt’ is just not a good thing to do. No matter how hurt you are and how much you feel wronged by an ex I really believe the best thing to do is realize you chose that person for some reason. Enjoy remembering the good times and learn from the bad times. Except for your closest friends (and your therapist) it’s best to just say something complimentary or nothing at all about an ex. It seems like concentrating on the negative will only bring on more negativity and make it take longer to grow and move on INMO.

So about 10 minutes into the scandalous conversation I realized I needed to put an end to it. But how? Hmmm…Surely there is a smooth way of doing it. Maybe, but I took the silly Rummy approach since it was all I could think of at that moment. Right in the middle of the juicy details I put my fake mustache on my phone and turned to Cosmo and said “look Cosmo, it’s Señior Blackberry”. She thought it was cute and took a picture of my phone. This distraction effectively ended the gossip albeit in a less than diplomatic way.

I hope my acquaintance is feeling better and I hope if he reads this he realizes I’m not judging and I wish him a speedy recovery.

“Señorita” Rummy

Chick-a-dees and Cock-a-dees,

I have to share this new song by nickelback called If Today Was Your Last Day with you. It's currently my FAVORITE (which I admit, changes weekly)!



Hope you enjoy.



Nickelback : If Today Was Your Last Day

I had a great time over the holiday season telling people I was an elf when they asked what I did for a living. I always enjoyed the strange looks they would give me wondering if I was kidding or maybe a wee bit crazy. It got to the point that my friends would encourage people to ask me what I did for a living so they could laugh their reactions. Well I wasn’t kidding or crazy, I really was an elf. I wasn’t just your ordinary elf though. I was a special skating variety. It’s one of the many advantages of living in a touristy area. I auditioned and got a role as a skating elf at a local theme park in their daily parade.

After a few days of elf ‘charm school’, which is just my fancy way of saying rehearsals, I was ready for the main event. It was a blast and a real confidence booster to skate in front of hundreds of people and show off my mad skating skills. The best part of it was the adorable little kids and the excitement they would get just from high fiving me and the proud look on the parent’s face when I paid extra attention to one. At times I just couldn’t believe I was getting paid to do it since I love to skate and love to entertain. But at other times it was difficult since I had to leave my day job early and bring work home. Due to the time commitment and the added stress I’m actually glad the parade is over. But I have some great memories, extra confidence and some new co-worker friends. Will I audition again next year? At this point I really can’t decide. Besides, a lot can change in 10 months so we will just have to wait and see.


Rummy “The Oversized Elf” Runner (or should I say skater)

Tomorrow is the big day! After tomorrow I won't have to hear any more of those annoying political commercials and my mailbox won't be stuffed full of endorsements for candidates. It all seems so wasteful to me. I just want to be informed by a neutral party and make the best choice I can. I don't look at a sign in someone's yard and say "wow they have a nice yard ... maybe I should vote like they are".

So I tried to look up in the local newspaper all the people and issues I have a chance to vote on tomorrow. Many of them still don't provide any information. All this money being spent on advertising and I still can't find any neutral information so I can make an informed decision.

Best of luck to everyone out there tomorrow. Hopefully the lines wont be too long and the Reds and Blues can live together hapily no matter who wins.

"I'm Rummy and I approved this message!"

Rummy "Exercising ....My Right To Vote" Runner

There just doesn’t seem to be enough time to do everything I want to do these days. I feel overwhelmed at times since there are so many more options than we had just a decade or two ago - internet, cable TV, video games, etc. So I’ve come up with a few ways to save time on the ho hum tasks in order to have more time for fun:

1. Don’t wash your car! It’s just going to get dirty again anyway. Plus the rain can wash it for you. So when I’m working and it starts raining outside I can say I’m multi tasking. This is especially true if you have a beat up old truck held together by duct tape anyway. No matter how much you wash it its still going to be a beat up old truck!

2. Don’t balance your checkbook. Most banks will let you check transactions online. A quick glance once a week should be enough to tell if anyone has messed with your money. A $20 purchase at the bike shop is probably mine but the Gucci store purchase for $350 is probably not.

3. Don’t make the bed. It’s just going to get messed up again. And if you like naps as much as I do that means a few makings of the bed each day. Plus unless you work in the world’s oldest profession or live in an efficiency apartment, not many people are going to see the messy bed anyway.

4. Don’t keep up with fashion. They change fashion every year to make you buy stuff even though you have stuff that is still perfectly good. I’m not in high school so I really don’t care what others think of my fashion sense. Plus I’d rather buy things that fit my figure and make it look its best rather than things that are supposedly “in”. Ask any guy what shoes are in fashion this year. If he knows he is gay and wouldn’t want you anyway. Most straight guys don’t care about fashion and just want to see you without your clothes anyway.

5. Minimize what you buy. More purchases means more stuff to take care of. If you don’t buy it in the first place you wont need to maintain it. Check out thestoryofstuff.org for more information on the time and environmental costs of all our purchases.

These are just some examples of how I save time on the mundane to have more time for what’s important to me. I challenge you to try some or find some of your own short cuts. Life is short so be happy even if your sock drawer isn’t totally organized!

Rummy “Efficiency is my middle name” Runner

It’s like I’m 15 years old again.
I just received an instant message from a male coworker, that we refer to as "Capt Kirk" saying:
“I have your tool” – Capt Kirk sends over Instant Messenger
“You do?” – Immature Cosmo sends back (Trying to hold back all the dirty innuendos that could be said)
“Yeah, let me know when you can come & get it” – Capt Kirk Responds
“Do you mean Cum?” – Immature Cosmo Quickly types & then erases immediatly from the Instant message screen, so she doesn’t get fired.
“Your painting tool” – Capt Kirk quickly clarifies. (Apparently he understands my dirty immature mind”
“Oh… Sure thing” – Disappointed & immature Cosmo says.
Immature Cosmo (age 30, going on 15)

So I called up my parents and asked “is Fay there”. My dad thought I had dialed the wrong number until I explained it’s my little way of checking on them and making sure they were ok with Tropical Storm Fay approaching. The media must have been bored since they made a really big deal out of this tropical storm. Any given summer afternoon in Central Florida can produce as much rain and wind as the menacing TS Fay. But I did what a good prepared Floridian should do and I “hunkered down” for the storm. My boyfriend and I grilled out and watched movies. It was a nice chill evening and I didn’t feel like I was missing out since it was too rainy to do much else. Toward the end of the night when I got antsy I went out in the storm and did my best weather woman impersonation. You know how they stand out in the storm and show how windy and rainy it is for all to see. Well that is what I did and it was fun. It would have been even more fun if people were actually watching me from their hunkered down locations. I think I picked the wrong career!

The night did bring back fond memories of the hurricanes of 2004 when Central Florida was hit by 3 hurricanes in a matter of a few short months. The worst one was Charlie, which made driving a car like navigating a maze since almost all streets were blocked by downed trees. Even in that hurricane I was able to drive to a Publix in a new neighborhood that didn’t have any trees and had underground power lines. It was like nothing had happened there and I was living in a totally devastated war zone just one mile away.

I hope everyone was safe and had a good TS day even if we didn’t get the day off from work. Feel free to share your hurricane and tropical storm stories!

Rummy “All this wind is messing up my hair” Runner

I recently decided to end my lease at my upscale downtown high-rise apartment. Ok, so it’s really just a dumpy little efficiency but I’ve lived here for 3 ½ years now and I consider it home. I thought this place was the coolest when I first moved in. It was my first time living on my own. I know that’s probably odd since I was 37 years old at the time but it was exciting and my big adventure. So now my apartment is a total mess while I decide what I absolutely can’t do without and what I would rather give away than have to carry down 3 flights of stairs and possibly up some stairs to wherever I move. It’s funny that I'm usually very clean but I really don't care that my apartment is a total mess right now since I look at it as a transition phase and I know it’s only temporary. When I was deciding if I should stay or go there was no clear winner. It wasn't like I found a beautiful place for half the price. That Sheryl Crow song just came to mind and I decided “a change would do me good”. The sad part is I don’t even know where I’m going yet and its only 3 weeks away! And instead of packing and looking I decided it was more important to blog tonight.

I know I will miss a lot of things about this place like the “take it table” downstairs. If you have something you don’t want anymore you can just leave it on the table for someone else. I’ve gotten some really cool stuff from it. Plus there was that time my friends walked me home after a night of drinking and my girl friend jumped on the table and her boyfriend “took” her. Don’t worry it was only “G” rated but it was funny and one of many good memories. Then there was the “happy birthday” time where we just decided to sing happy birthday to everyone who came downstairs. Somehow that made everyone smile. I also have to mention the time Cosmo, Tini and friends came over to party. I think that was a record for the amount of people that could fit in the apartment and boy do we have some fun pictures from that night!

I’m sure some things will be better at a new place like hopefully I won’t have to put up with kids partying on my fire escape at 3 am on a school night but I'm sure there will be some things worse in the new place. The lesson I've learned lately is that everything seems to be tradeoffs. Some things get better and others stay the same or get worse. It's all shades of grey. So mostly I just decided to take a chance and not get too set in a rut. As long as I am renting I want to move every year just so I can try different things and see what I like. So I will be throwing out as much junk as I can and living like a minimalist so I can easily pick up and move again. This is not exactly where I thought I would be at 40 years old but it’s not all bad. I'm not worrying, I'm just taking it one day at a time. I have to go now so I can get packing and plan my big moving out party!!!!

Rummy "Moving on Up" Runner

The other day I was driving to work jamming to Judas Priest's love song "Ram it Down" when I had a flashback to 20 years earlier. It was 1988 and I was sitting in my truck in a parking lot at work. There was a fire alarm so a friend and I sat in my truck and jammed the same Judas Priest tunes. Here I was 20 years later still driving a little truck (not the same one but I have had this one for 15 years so it's close), still listening to the same music, still being silly and singing along to all the words…I should know all the words by now after all its been 20 years! I was thinking of how little has changed. I think I look about the same except the big hair is gone and I still dress very casual and sporty but now my jeans sit a little lower so as to show off my thong and not the granny panties I used to wear. It is simply amazing how fast time goes by. I feel fortunate to have kept some of my youthful traits along my journey in life especially with the many life challenges I have faced along the way. I do think my silliness and ability to laugh at life have kept me young and I am proud of that. Then I thought a little harder and I realized how much had changed since 1988 just in a technology way. I had a navigation system in my truck, I was listening to my music on an MP3 player and not a cassette tape, I had a cell phone and let's not forget the minor things called computers and internet that may have affected our lives oh so slightly. It's amazing we were able to get by without all these gadgets but I do think they make life more interesting and easier. Anyway, there is no real point to the blog. I just wanted to share my flashback story and luckily it was not related to drugs since that would be the 70's not the 80's. Take some time to reflect on your past and where you are now. Would young you be proud of who you turned out to be? Or do you look at young you and say "wow was I naïve and what the heck was I thinking wearing leg warmers in Florida".

Rummy "Class of 86" Runner

A GPS is a wonderful thing. You can just hop in the car & take off without worrying about getting directions. Although, having one for about a year, I’ve noticed a few downsides to having this new hunk of technology.
My GPS, that I lovingly call Karen, is a life saver. She tells me exactly where to go, saves locations and has unending patience. Karen never yells or comments about what a complete idiot I am and that has no reason driving, when I’ve made a wrong turn for the 47th time. Of course this does not prevent me from cursing her. Karen has been called about every thing you can imagine. From Stupid machine, to a psycho crazy robotic piece of shit and those are a few of the tamer nicknames she has. As soon as these horrible things come out of my mouth, and shock my passenger (or person I am chatting with on the phone), I quickly apologize. You never know when Karen might take revenge.In fact, I’m pretty sure Karen has already used her power for evil. Sometimes she will go on and on about how I’m in the middle of a lake, when it is quite obvious that there has NEVER been a lake at that location and the strip mall (where the lake is suppose to be) is obviously over 20 years old.One downside when you own a GPS over an extended period of time, you forget how to get places. Street names are a thing of the past. Since I organize a lot of group events for an awesome meetup group, I often get asked, how do I get there (to a place I am already having a beer at). My response is…only Karen knows. Which leads to a conversation about why would I name my GPS…ect.Another curious aspect of Karen is that she has a UK accent. I choose a female voice because I thought I wouldn’t yell at the GPS as much… that turned out to be a bogus theory, btw. No one likes “Recalculating”, or “Follow the highlighted route” 20 times in a row…thus the name calling.Lately I’ve been saying a few things in a British accent. Small things, but it’s a little strange since I don’t hang out with anyone that has a UK accent. It was a really starting to get on my nerves. Driving to an event one night (paintball..ouch), I noticed that Karen had a UK accent as well. OMG that is where I was getting it from, I thought. I was mocking my GPS, how messed up is that? I immediately called a friend, so that we could laugh about it together. Issues like that are ALWAYS better when shared.So there you have it. A GPS can be a godsend, but there are a few drawbacks. A word of advice, unless you want to sound like a British TV character, stick to the English voice on your GPS.
**Update**Due to some encouragement on my part, a good friend (Rummy) purchased a GPS for her truck. Recently she informed me she really liked it, but it wasn’t very useful for directions.
I replied, with a confused look on my face “Then what is it good for?”Rummy said “Learning French”.
Apparently Rummy set her GPS to talk in French… Wonder if she will start having a French accent soon?

Direction Impaired Cosmo

OMG, it has started. The good news is it signals the beginning of popularity. The bad news is, it will only get worse.
This weekend I had two people say “That doesn’t go on your podcast, btw”. The first time I heard it, I was shocked. I had just met this wonderful chic & she had not even listened to the show…how did she know I would put her inner most secrets on the podcast? Hmm, am I that predictable?
The other incident was with the guy I’m “Dating”. (Yes there are quotes around “Dating”…it’s a LONG story) He mentioned that he didn’t want something regarding our sex life to be on the podcast. CRAP, foiled again! How did he know I was going to spill the bean about everything?! It’s a little spooky how well people know me.
So, there ya go fabulous listeners. People are getting leery of my HUGE mouth & the “Podcast Power” I yield .
So stay tuned, because from now on, I’m more of a stealthy podcaster, that way I can’t get the line “Don’t put this on your podcast”.
Seriously, Fab Listeners…Fame is hard….
WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT, I LOVE IT!!
Have a Fabulous Monday everyone & make sure you check out our 2nd podcast! (The 3rd is rapidly on it’s way)
World Famous Cosmo ;)

I had a VERY interesting conversation with the guy I am currently “Dating”. BEWARE – You might fall out of your chair laughing.
Lets set the scene:Walmart, Horrible BRIGHT lighting, LOTS of stuff that you will probably never “need”, cold tile floors & people of all types.
Bud (Guy I’m Dating), A bit on the conservative side. Routinely tells me that I make “Scenes” (Who knew that yelling “I’m going to Vegas” at the top of my lungs in a Swanky Mall would equal “Making a Scene), of course I take these comments as a compliment. Oh, he also wears a shirt & tie EVERY day to work…poor guy.
In the middle of Walmart’s hygiene department, the following conversation occurred- Cosmo “So have you ever had a BJ in the car” (It’s a long drive to the campsite)- Bud “Yes….Wait, do you mean while the car is running?”- Cosmo “Of COURSE!”- Bud “Then No”- Cosmo “No…Well It is a long drive to the campsite” while casually bumping him with my hip and winking. (Of course I stumble immediately afterwards, breaking the sexual innuendo)- In a loud voice Bud replies “You are not going to give me a BLOW JOB…”
Bud looks around & sees a woman about 5 feet away from him browsing through the Deodorant. There is NO Doubt that she heard his last remark.
- Blushing Bud says “We are done here” and walks away to the Nerf guns (A Story for another Time)- Wonderful Listeners, don’t be too disappointed in me; I couldn’t come up with a smart ass response, because I almost feel on the Wal-Mart floor from laughing.
Can you say “Spectacle” ;)

Cosmo, the bad influance

April 1st was a HUGE day for me! I started my PhD (Hooray for me!), tried to resign from a company I am part owner of (long story) and Luna blew up…. I say blew up but what I really mean is that gremlins, that call Luna their home, decided to have a party and it went on too long and demolished the party location.
The saddest part of all is that I LOVED Luna. She was the most beautiful dark blue Sebring convertible. Yeah…she needed some work and there was a dent in the hood from that time an idiot backed into her at a stoplight, but so what. She was awesome. She NEVER complained when I put the top down and the stereo was sufficiently loud enough to conceal my horrible signing.
Since it would cost more money to fix the “party location” (Luna’s motor) than to buy a new car…that is what I have been doing for the past week. Thank goodness I have a WONDERFUL friend that let me borrow his car until I purchased my new Love (car).
Now for the Bright Cheery Side of this story!
Yesterday I purchased a Volkswagen Beetle, convertible of course! She (Yes, it is a she. Could a beetle be anything other than female?) is light blue and I’m already see the makings of a wonderful friendship. She doesn’t have the smoothest ride, but has been lots of fun so far! I can see Tini, Rummy and me going to the beach with the top down, waving to fellow drivers that aren’t lucky enough to have a beetle convertible to call their own.
Now the hard part…what is her name?
Crazy Cosmo