It's been over a year since I was really single (Yes there was some on again, off again, but I didn't see anyone else). Now that I'm truly single again, I find myself wondering what do I do?

Obviously, I'm a relationship girl. So, since I just got out of a relationship, I'm not chomping at the bit to date anyone. Besides my dates, end up turning into something serious....run AWAY!

So, what do I do to get over the breakup? I'm not the kind of person that mopes around, or listens to sad songs (no offense Rummy). I like to get on with my life. Life seems too short to morn something that could never be.

Anyways, enough with the phyco babble, what do I do now? Spend a HUGE amount of time with friends partying and dancing my ass off?

Get Fabulously thin and toned? Look so good that a grown man will cry when I walk by?

Move to New Zealand, open up a bar called "I'd do me" that caters to American tourists and sleep with a different aussie every night? I do love their accents!

Dilemmas, Dilemmas....

"Couldn't think of a whitty tag line" Cosmo

Have you ever had a bad day/week. Maybe your cat died or a close relative is sick or your boyfriend just isn't talking... either way, you are having a bad day. The sky outside is a lovely shade of blue with just a slight chill in the air, but all you can do it look at your shoes. Smiling no longer seems like an option.



At this point you may have had enough of being all "Doom & Gloom", so after you have called your best friends and spread your misery. Which they were nice enough to hear & then point out that the sky is not really falling, what do you do? Yeah, you feel a bit better because Cab pointed out that boys "Process" and that regardless things will work out, but your still Doom & Gloomin' it.



Rummy once talked about her steps to a positive outlook. No, it's not a modivational book, it's a technique she uses to pick herself up out of her "Doom & Gloom".



Rummy lives on the third story of her apartment building, so when she goes up the stairs she tried to think about one good thing in her life for each stair she climbs. Sometimes it takes her a while to get to the top, but when she reaches her apt her Doom & Gloom are gone. You may not have steps, but you can use the walk to your door from your driveway, or the walk to the bathroom at work.



Today, I will take Rummy's great advice and try the Anti-Doom & Gloom technique for myself. Wish me luck!



Crazy Cosmo

I had a VERY interesting conversation with the guy I am currently “Dating”. BEWARE – You might fall out of your chair laughing.
Lets set the scene:Walmart, Horrible BRIGHT lighting, LOTS of stuff that you will probably never “need”, cold tile floors & people of all types.
Bud (Guy I’m Dating), A bit on the conservative side. Routinely tells me that I make “Scenes” (Who knew that yelling “I’m going to Vegas” at the top of my lungs in a Swanky Mall would equal “Making a Scene), of course I take these comments as a compliment. Oh, he also wears a shirt & tie EVERY day to work…poor guy.
In the middle of Walmart’s hygiene department, the following conversation occurred- Cosmo “So have you ever had a BJ in the car” (It’s a long drive to the campsite)- Bud “Yes….Wait, do you mean while the car is running?”- Cosmo “Of COURSE!”- Bud “Then No”- Cosmo “No…Well It is a long drive to the campsite” while casually bumping him with my hip and winking. (Of course I stumble immediately afterwards, breaking the sexual innuendo)- In a loud voice Bud replies “You are not going to give me a BLOW JOB…”
Bud looks around & sees a woman about 5 feet away from him browsing through the Deodorant. There is NO Doubt that she heard his last remark.
- Blushing Bud says “We are done here” and walks away to the Nerf guns (A Story for another Time)- Wonderful Listeners, don’t be too disappointed in me; I couldn’t come up with a smart ass response, because I almost feel on the Wal-Mart floor from laughing.
Can you say “Spectacle” ;)

Cosmo, the bad influance

Warning this may not be "Work Approporate" because you might fall out of your chair laughing!
Ultimate Breakup letter - breakupemail.com
Dear Creepy Guy that likes Shiny Objects,
I'm writing you this email because I think our relationship has run its course. Do you realize that you're a total loser? It might be hard for you to believe, but one thing I can tell you for sure: you really need to work on your skills in bed. I mean, you're just plain bad at sex. And another thing: take a freakin shower! You smell so bad that the garbage collectors wonder what the smell is when they come down the street. Here's some food for thought: you're an asshole! It's not easy to carry on a successful relationship with someone like you. And by that, I mean someone who is downright stupid, you feebleminded dimwit. Oh yeah, I almost forgot to point out that you're pure evil, a characteristic that most people do NOT appreciate. You might want to work on that.
What really breaks the deal is your horrible grammar. Srsly d00d, learn 2 rite a sentance!
Sorry, but you're not even worth keeping as a friend. Why are you so boring? I've seen rocks that are more interesting than you. I never want to see you again, jerkface! Stay away from me or I'll beat you with a frozen salmon. I think you get the idea: this relationship is over.
I hope maggots devour your testicles,Cosmo
Thanks catherinett for that Wonderful website!

The Morning after BreakfastWhile listening to one of my fav songs, Banana pancakes by Jack Johnson, I started to ponder breakfast foods. Of course this leads me to “The Morning after, breakfast”.
When I sleep over at a guy’s house, breakfast is a given…or at least it should be. Yes, banana pancakes would be great, but is not necessary. It is the thoughtfulness that means the most to me. Hell, breakfast could be Lucky Charms with a cute marshmallow design around the plate.
What if they don’t make you breakfast? Do you dump them? Or do you let them have another chance?
In my experience, giving them another chance… doesn’t work out so well. But sometimes, if the guy is worth it, you can try to talk to him about it…and maybe it will work out.
Think of it like this. You just sleep with this guy; even if you didn’t have sex, you gave him your company. You stayed over at his house, in his bed. Breakfast is deserved! Besides, it is a great opportunity for the other person (this applies for women also) to say that they cared and are thankful you stayed over.
Once, a guy brought me water after I stayed over. Yes, we had been drinking the night before & the water was appreciated…but only water?! Yeah…I never saw him again.
Yes guys, I have help up my end of the bargain and made breakfast. No, it is not always blueberry or banana pancakes, but it is always something.
What do you do if you don’t get the breakfast? Hmm, you can mention it. Some great guys/girls out there are Clueless when it comes to this. If this does not work, or you are SURE this is not the case…then Get Another One!
One of my Fav books, that helped me through a dying relationship said “Get Another one, they are making those things every day.” Who care if he has perfect abs or is wonderful in bed. Without respect and at least some caring…there can never be a healthy relationship.
Introspective Cosmo

I set a new personal record yesterday. Seeing as I’m into sports you may think I ran my fastest 5K or got a better batting average but this is a different PR. Yesterday I received the most roses in one day. My boyfriend sent me 40 roses for my upcoming 40th birthday. “Ahhh how sweet”, “girlfriend you better marry him” and “looks like someone’s in love” were just some the many comments I heard from my coworkers yesterday for the overwhelmingly big arrangement taking up half my desktop. The 40 roses blew away my previous record of 24 when I received a dozen roses each from two suitors on Valentine’s Day many years ago. Of course I wanted to thank my boyfriend in my normal manner….hot sex! Kidding…..well…. maybe not. Ooh la la! But since I was still at the office I just sent him an email in my normal silly fashion. We work for the same organization and I occasionally send him emails about problems at work. So I sent him one with the subject: Big Work Problem! Then I proceeded to say I can’t get any work done since my desk is covered in roses. First there is no room for my reports, second everyone who passes by has to say something, third there is this pleasantly distracting odor and finally all the women want my boyfriend now so I have to fight them off!
Today I’m still getting people stopping by to smell my roses and congratulating me. I’m not really sure congratulations are in order since all I did was have a birthday but it’s nice to socialize with everyone. Plus I guess it’s a bit of a surprise that I made it to the ripe old age of 40 with all my sports injuries including 2 concussions…one of which I have on video and the other which involved a $2,000 no expenses paid trip to the ER.
So romance is alive and well. I don’t think extravagant gifts like this are necessary to show you care for someone but they sure are nice! I hope you take the time to do something for that special person in your life. Muah.

Rummy "Roses are Red" Runner