Facebook Love
“What did you think about those pictures?” Tini said
“Oh, those were super cute. How did things go at your doctor’s appointment? Also, what’s going on with hottie?” Cab replied
“The doctor’s appt went well. Hottie..is..still HOT! But how are you feeling today? You looked a bit down yesterday?” Tini responded.
At this point in the conversation I jump in. “What pictures? What doctor’s appointment? And how did you know she was down yesterday?“ I know Tini and Cab hadn’t seen each other in weeks, so WTF!
“Everything is ok" they respond. "We were chatting on facebook…” Tini says. I think Tini keep talking to me, but I zoned out, pissed at stupid facebook!
Of course, I eventually join facebook. It was relatively easy, all I had to do was sign my life and privacy away, but besides that, it was easy peasy. I’ve been on the social site (can it really be considered social since it’s online?) it for a few months with mixed reviews. Facebook is s a time sucker (He He…she said suck) and a great way for stalkers to locate you without being arrested, but besides that, it’s a way to stay in contact with your friends.
In the few short months since I’ve been a member, I’ve been contacted by many people from my home town (no easy feat since it’s BFE), many people who want to be my friend (I could only wish to be that popular in real life), and today I got an entertaining email for a very special individual named Ndubisi Durunna.
Subject: 4really love
"hi sweety, l saw u on my facebook wow u so beautiful with those sexy bodyn lovely smile of u am going crazying about u l really like u n l want to no u were are u from am from africa nigeria n my name is ndubisi plz take good care of ur self n l hope to hear 4u have a lovely day bye"
Thank you facebook. It does my self esteem a world of good to be told I have a sexy bodyn.
Karen, the GPS
A GPS is a wonderful thing. You can just hop in the car & take off without worrying about getting directions. Although, having one for about a year, I’ve noticed a few downsides to having this new hunk of technology.
My GPS, that I lovingly call Karen, is a life saver. She tells me exactly where to go, saves locations and has unending patience. Karen never yells or comments about what a complete idiot I am and that has no reason driving, when I’ve made a wrong turn for the 47th time. Of course this does not prevent me from cursing her. Karen has been called about every thing you can imagine. From Stupid machine, to a psycho crazy robotic piece of shit and those are a few of the tamer nicknames she has. As soon as these horrible things come out of my mouth, and shock my passenger (or person I am chatting with on the phone), I quickly apologize. You never know when Karen might take revenge.In fact, I’m pretty sure Karen has already used her power for evil. Sometimes she will go on and on about how I’m in the middle of a lake, when it is quite obvious that there has NEVER been a lake at that location and the strip mall (where the lake is suppose to be) is obviously over 20 years old.One downside when you own a GPS over an extended period of time, you forget how to get places. Street names are a thing of the past. Since I organize a lot of group events for an awesome meetup group, I often get asked, how do I get there (to a place I am already having a beer at). My response is…only Karen knows. Which leads to a conversation about why would I name my GPS…ect.Another curious aspect of Karen is that she has a UK accent. I choose a female voice because I thought I wouldn’t yell at the GPS as much… that turned out to be a bogus theory, btw. No one likes “Recalculating”, or “Follow the highlighted route” 20 times in a row…thus the name calling.Lately I’ve been saying a few things in a British accent. Small things, but it’s a little strange since I don’t hang out with anyone that has a UK accent. It was a really starting to get on my nerves. Driving to an event one night (paintball..ouch), I noticed that Karen had a UK accent as well. OMG that is where I was getting it from, I thought. I was mocking my GPS, how messed up is that? I immediately called a friend, so that we could laugh about it together. Issues like that are ALWAYS better when shared.So there you have it. A GPS can be a godsend, but there are a few drawbacks. A word of advice, unless you want to sound like a British TV character, stick to the English voice on your GPS.
**Update**Due to some encouragement on my part, a good friend (Rummy) purchased a GPS for her truck. Recently she informed me she really liked it, but it wasn’t very useful for directions.
I replied, with a confused look on my face “Then what is it good for?”Rummy said “Learning French”.
Apparently Rummy set her GPS to talk in French… Wonder if she will start having a French accent soon?
Direction Impaired Cosmo