Underwear Crisis
In 2007 I found myself single, after being in a very LONG relationship. After a few weeks, I finally decided to be happy about my liberation (AKA Single Life) and I embraced it with open manly arms. I Immedialty starting making LOTS of new friends, going out all the time, getting lots of attention (A hot guy tripping over himself to say hello is a HUGE injection of self confidence), and learning to love life. During my adventures, I began discover something was amiss. You guessed it, it was the underwear crisis of 2007. Normally I didn’t wear panties at all (Did I mention I hate doing laundry?), but on rare occurrences, I would wear comfortable white panties. Imagine my horror when I discovered… I was granny panty girl *Phcho scream*. My Knickers were soo bad that I made bridget Jones look good.
Typical girl stuff, like pretty matching (NONE of my underwear matched) underwear or makeup was never my thing. I had always concentrated on my education, self improvement, and my career. Being single made me realize packaging (makeup and underwear, to name a few) was important. I ask you, What does a girl do when they find out, they are “granny panties girl”? Does she crawl into the corner and cry…of course NOT! She goes on an underwear shopping spree *YaHoo*.
1st stop… Victoria Secrets. I was surprised that the trip to VS was so… shocking. For someone that is use to buying panties in plastic packages containing 5 pairs, I suffered some sticker shock. 50.00 for ONE bra? $12.00+ for one pair of Panties? *Chocking sounds* After my shock subsided, I sucked it up and spent a small fortune for colorful, silky, lacy thongs and MATCHING bras.
My quest continued for months. Everywhere I went shopping, and I went shopping A LOT, I looked for cute underwear. Target was a great find. They weren’t too expensive, had good quality and a nice selection. Old Navy also had (and still has) some great panties. Not to mention a few shops in the mall that had 5 panties for $10.00.
A friend once asked me, “Is it worth spending soo much money on cute underwear?”
With a huge smile on my face I answered “Yes, it absolutely was! And the compliments I get, don’t hurt either”
The moral of this story, is buy a pretty pair of undies, just for you. And when you are pissed at your boss, or start to feel a bit down, remember your pretty undies. You will be surprised how much it will brighten your day.
Bjs in Walmart
I had a VERY interesting conversation with the guy I am currently “Dating”. BEWARE – You might fall out of your chair laughing.
Lets set the scene:Walmart, Horrible BRIGHT lighting, LOTS of stuff that you will probably never “need”, cold tile floors & people of all types.
Bud (Guy I’m Dating), A bit on the conservative side. Routinely tells me that I make “Scenes” (Who knew that yelling “I’m going to Vegas” at the top of my lungs in a Swanky Mall would equal “Making a Scene), of course I take these comments as a compliment. Oh, he also wears a shirt & tie EVERY day to work…poor guy.
In the middle of Walmart’s hygiene department, the following conversation occurred- Cosmo “So have you ever had a BJ in the car” (It’s a long drive to the campsite)- Bud “Yes….Wait, do you mean while the car is running?”- Cosmo “Of COURSE!”- Bud “Then No”- Cosmo “No…Well It is a long drive to the campsite” while casually bumping him with my hip and winking. (Of course I stumble immediately afterwards, breaking the sexual innuendo)- In a loud voice Bud replies “You are not going to give me a BLOW JOB…”
Bud looks around & sees a woman about 5 feet away from him browsing through the Deodorant. There is NO Doubt that she heard his last remark.
- Blushing Bud says “We are done here” and walks away to the Nerf guns (A Story for another Time)- Wonderful Listeners, don’t be too disappointed in me; I couldn’t come up with a smart ass response, because I almost feel on the Wal-Mart floor from laughing.
Can you say “Spectacle” ;)
Cosmo, the bad influance
New Experience
“So you are my girlfriend” Tic Tac said while grabbing my hand.Since we are not a couple, I looked confusingly at Tic Tac and said “What…?” while letting go of his hand.“They won’t let you in if you are not with a guy” Tic Tac patiently informed me.Stupidly I replied “Oh…” and grabbed his hand.
Tic Tac, his brother Stoli and I walked in to this club. It was a little strange acting like Tic Tac’s girlfriend but since I had a few drinks by this time, I was very kewl with it.
A guy wearing a Tux greets us at the door. Since it had been a while since I had seen a guy with a bow tie, I hesitated a few moments. At that exact moment, Tini called…or did I call her…Who knows, like I said, I had a few drinks.Side note: We invented a new drink that night called Tic Tac Cream. (www. drinkswiththegirls.com/drink_recipes)“On my way girl” Tini said over the cell phone.“Awesome, I just did not want to be the only girl here…well you know what I mean” I said.“I will be there in a few minutes” Tini reassured me.“Kewl” I replied.
Walking in with my new “Boyfriend” sights and sounds attacked my attention. Oh…did I mention that when I drink I have the attention span of a Nat. Yeah..I can’t pay attention to anything for very long, hence I was looking around like a tourist at Disney world.Tic Tac and Stoli took me to the bar and asked what I would like to drink.While looking around like a crazed Disney tourist, I replied “A water and a beer”I noticed a girl sitting by herself next to the stage. I proceeded sit next to her and start talking. I was just chatting away, saying things like “I have never been to a place like this before” and a few other things that I can’t remember.After a few moments she said, well I have to go on stage; I will talk to you later.I went off to find Tic Tac and Stoli, not hard to do mind you (It was small place). They looked a little worried because I was sitting in the VIP section (little did I know), but no worries, the bouncers didn’t seem to mind.Tic Tac took me to the chairs right in front of the stage. I sat back and just took it all in. Mostly naked 19-25 year old women dancing away, men were drooling and trying to look kewl (btw, it is impossible to do both at the same time!). I thought I might be a little shocked or uncomfortable…but not at all. The strip club was not dirty or gross. It was a small noisy club with women taking their clothes off. Not a big deal at all. In fact, it was very interesting over all.1st off most of the women did not have huge breasts. Some were an A cup…I was very surprised.2nd the Bathroom was located in the strippers dressing room. This ruins some of the magic seeing them in the light & hearing them talk like someone on Jerry Springer or cheaters.3rd the girls moves were not all that. I expected…well I’m not really sure. But I thought I would take some knowledge home with me. There were a few things that were interesting. Like Micka (the girl I talked to in the VIP section), she could throw ice off her back.So after a few hours, we left. It was a very interesting experience to say the least.
My advice, if you have an open mind & you have never been to a strip club, find a good one is in your area & go! Oh & bring a “Boyfriend” since many of them won’t let you in without one.