As long as Pinocchio's nose
What is up with us and our self image? I would LOVE to say I know some women that don’t have a self image, problem, but if I did, my nose would be longer than Pinocchio’s nose in that porno.
I was just reading some emails from OMT about how they don’t think they are good enough and it occurred to me…WTF are we women thinking? Seriously, so many women are wonderful and don’t even know it.
I have a friend (more than one friend) that is like a ray of sunshine. She radiates a warm energy that infects people happiness and positive energy where ever she goes. Does she know that, No. Ironically, she wants to be the person that is like human Prozac, but she can’t see herself for what she truly is. She seems to hang on to any negative comment like it’s the last piece of chocolate in the house and she is having her monthly visitor.
Another friend of mine is so strong and confident, until it comes to her future. Somehow she suddenly loses her confidence, determination and mental strength that normal exudes from her. Somehow she thinks she isn’t good enough, or not capable enough.
Then there is me. I went to lunch with a friend of mine and while walking through the cafeteria he asked “What is it like having everyone stare at you?” I was totally confused. Of course, I laughed thinking he was making a joke.
“Seriously” he said “what is it like? It’s like the flowers are parting for you. Everyone is looking at you, even the women”
I had no idea how to respond. He is only a friend, so isn’t saying this, to compliment me, he’s serious.
“I had no idea it was happening” I told him. It was his turn to be mystified.
How does this happen? We are born with a blank slate but somewhere along the way, we start doubting ourselves. We start taking things WAY too personal. Instead of thinking, Maybe my BF is having a bad day, he didn’t really mean to ignore me when he walked in. We tend to think, what did I do wrong and how can I fix it.
If I had a daughter, I would tell her, Love yourself! You will not be perfect; you will probably not make all the right decisions, but love yourself for you. Learn from your mistakes, take negative feedback with a grain of salt, and go on. You are the only You on the planet.
Maybe we should do the same. Learn to Love ourselves and be the best self, we can be.
OK, I’m done with my ranting (at least for now)
Crazy Cosmo
Free Beer and Hotties
Stupid breakup nonsense! Why can't we just get over people quickly and get on with our lives? When are scientists going to come up with a solution...well besides prosac.
In the meantime, I've found friends to be the best cure for a breakup. I can call them at all hours the night, bitch and complain about how things have turned out and through it all, they don't come over and kill me. :)
Here is one way Tini shows her support.
Tini texts me "Are you going to the corporate 5K?"
I respond with a whitty "Well, I'm not really in good enough shape to run, but if you want to walk it, ok"
Tini - "They have free beer and there will be lots of hotties there"
"Where are my damn running shoes?"
Tini really knows how to be a friend and modivate at the same time. Maybe she should be a modivational speaker?
Crusin Cosmo
Facebook Love
“What did you think about those pictures?” Tini said
“Oh, those were super cute. How did things go at your doctor’s appointment? Also, what’s going on with hottie?” Cab replied
“The doctor’s appt went well. Hottie..is..still HOT! But how are you feeling today? You looked a bit down yesterday?” Tini responded.
At this point in the conversation I jump in. “What pictures? What doctor’s appointment? And how did you know she was down yesterday?“ I know Tini and Cab hadn’t seen each other in weeks, so WTF!
“Everything is ok" they respond. "We were chatting on facebook…” Tini says. I think Tini keep talking to me, but I zoned out, pissed at stupid facebook!
Of course, I eventually join facebook. It was relatively easy, all I had to do was sign my life and privacy away, but besides that, it was easy peasy. I’ve been on the social site (can it really be considered social since it’s online?) it for a few months with mixed reviews. Facebook is s a time sucker (He He…she said suck) and a great way for stalkers to locate you without being arrested, but besides that, it’s a way to stay in contact with your friends.
In the few short months since I’ve been a member, I’ve been contacted by many people from my home town (no easy feat since it’s BFE), many people who want to be my friend (I could only wish to be that popular in real life), and today I got an entertaining email for a very special individual named Ndubisi Durunna.
Subject: 4really love
"hi sweety, l saw u on my facebook wow u so beautiful with those sexy bodyn lovely smile of u am going crazying about u l really like u n l want to no u were are u from am from africa nigeria n my name is ndubisi plz take good care of ur self n l hope to hear 4u have a lovely day bye"
Thank you facebook. It does my self esteem a world of good to be told I have a sexy bodyn.
How DARE they!
How DARE my work interupt my blogging, especially on a Friday?! Who do they think they are?! Yes, they pay me to work 40ish hours a week. Yes, I get good benifits and I'm generally respected. Hmm, they even pay me on time EVERY week...but SO WHAT!
They have NO right to interupt my blogging!!!
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Ok, maybe they have a bit of right. :D But I'll show them, I'll leave early today....
Have a Wonderful Weekend Everyone! And remember to check out our new shows at drinkswiththegirls.com
Testicles and a George Foreman Grill
Dear Mr. Thatcher,I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 yearsand I appreciatemany of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weaveabsorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'dcertainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, whiteshorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings.Kudoson being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is thatmaxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel eachmonth knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from thecurse' ? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is startingright now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surgingthrough my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'llbe transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly withknife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seenquite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customersmonthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating,puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, cryingjags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a toughtime for most women.
In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urgeto shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just becausehe told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps.Crazy!The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is justcrawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to thereasonfor my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful Iwanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Alwaysmaxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words:'Have a Happy Period.'Are you ***** kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tinymiddle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughinghappiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentionedabove sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unlessyou're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin andKahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to thelocal Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end yourlife in a blaze of glory.For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap amoronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say somethingthat's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'VehicularManslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately,there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take mymaxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss yourFlex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending ********. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.Best,Soon to be inbred Hillbilly with Knife skillsAustin , TX
RANT WARNING! Web Hosting = PITA
Why is finding a good webhosting company such a PITA (Pain in the Ass)? It is driving me CRA-ZY!
Webhosting Company 1:Cheap Bi-monthly service (every two months), Fast web development tools. Several email accounts. Sounds great right…. What they don’t tell you is that uploading files over 3MBs is IMPOSSIBLE! Also, if you use their Fast web development tool, you can’t choose the directories the files get uploaded to. So the file path ends up being 200 characters longs….3MBs, can you say Dark ages. One picture is bigger than 3MBs, much less a podcast.
Webhosting Company 2:Either you pay for 1 year upfront or you pay for a 60.00 setup fee and 6 months upfront. Which Ironically equals the 1 year fee. WTF, I do not want to pay for a whole year, when I don’t even know if they are a good company or not. So, I email them saying I would like to try them out…bla, bla, niceties are included. They are nice enough to send me a response TWO days later saying…”No”. LOL. Can you say HORRIBLE customer support?
Webhosting Company 3-10Same problems as webhosting company 2, except they don’t even bother to answer my trial period request.
Webhosting Company 11:Frustrated & thinking DWTGs would have to pay for a year of webhosting with a poor customer service webhosting company …I looked a bit more. Vola…Finally I find a webhosting company that does 6 month contracts w/out a HUGE “Service Fee”. Seems to have good bandwith, LOTS of email accounts, email forwarding, and It can upload more than 3mbs at a time. The downside…it can’t create a website easily. Not without enrolling in a 9.99 a web creation month service.
What does this mean?
On the positive side it means that Cosmo gets to stretch her web development wings and the www.drinkswiththegirls.com website will be better than EVER.
Downside...developing a new site takes away from Cosmo’s shower time. Hope no one at work notices…
Bitchy Cosmo.