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Oh my... I have soo many things that happened this weekend that I want to write about but Today is Operation Muffin Top Monday.

All of us Operation Muffin top members have been sending emails back and forth like a latex BC device in a windstorm (AKA fast & furious). The support everyone gives eachother is AMAZING! Being the techie I am, I made us a free message board. OMT Message Board is our Cyber support group full of laughs, encouragement and advice. So, if you are interested in sheding a few pounds or just wanted to get more healthy, come and check it out!

I've finally decided that eating Chinese food (even if it is only veggies and tofu) and Watermelon all the time isn't the best thing for me. Unfortunatly, that means, I must go grocery shopping. Strangely enough, I use to like going grocery shopping...now it just seems like an errand. And since I hate errands, it went the way of the dodo bird...extinct.

I recently purchased a Costco (wholesale place) membership because I keep getting invited to parties (yahoo!) . As many of you know, whenever you get invited to a party, you must bring something, thus the costco membership. Party delights in bulk. Now, I can use it to do mucho grocery shopping with one visit. :)

After work I plan to get Fish, veggies, and hmm I already forgotten the third item, is on my list.

Come back tomorrow for more some stories about my CRAZY weekend.

Recovering from a Crazy weekend- Cosmo

Stupid breakup nonsense! Why can't we just get over people quickly and get on with our lives? When are scientists going to come up with a solution...well besides prosac.



In the meantime, I've found friends to be the best cure for a breakup. I can call them at all hours the night, bitch and complain about how things have turned out and through it all, they don't come over and kill me. :)



Here is one way Tini shows her support.

Tini texts me "Are you going to the corporate 5K?"

I respond with a whitty "Well, I'm not really in good enough shape to run, but if you want to walk it, ok"

Tini - "They have free beer and there will be lots of hotties there"

"Where are my damn running shoes?"



Tini really knows how to be a friend and modivate at the same time. Maybe she should be a modivational speaker?



Crusin Cosmo

Do you have a pair of Skinny jeans that stare at you every time you enter your closet? The jeans that dare you to put them on, while sliently laughing? Maybe it's a pair you had in High school and have been refusing to throw away, even though they have a hole in the hooha.

Well Tuesday, I tried on those Jeans. I would love to tell you that they fit me great and made my bootie look like something to sing about, but I would be lying. The truth is, I was able to get them on (a good step), but I looked a bit like an overstuffed sausage. But there is a silver lining.

Tuesday I tried on a halter top that I bought last year when I was pretty thin. I hadn't been able to wear it because it's super tight and shows EVERYTHING. But this time, when I tried it on, it looked good! Not two weeks ago, It would've looked awful, but this week...yahoo! Of course I asked my roommate(AKA Tini) to verify (I had no desire to look like an overstuffed sausage in public) and she said it looked great!

So I went out with some friends in a pair of jeans I couldn't fit into two weeks ago (not my skinny jeans, but semi-skinny jeans) and a red haulter top that left nothing to the imagination. The best news of all is that I got compliments from everyone and stares from complete strangers. :)

Now all I need to do is to start "getting my flirt on" and get myself a date with a hot fireman!

Thanks to Catherinette a great group of supportive fatties (I say that with LOVE!) have come together for Operation Muffin Top. In short, Operation Muffin Top is a group of internet gurus, that supports eachother while getting healthy. We say things like "Don't put that F**KING DONUT in your MOUTH!" And "Remember BJs are fat free".

The current question posed to the group is: what is your modivation for getting healthy?
You guys already know about my HOT body by 31. There is also the modivation of not feeling self concous while wearing a bikini. But I have a secret modivational Weapon. I've promised myself, If I work out at least 3 days a week, for a month, then I treat myself to a massage.

Hmm, that means I need to work out Both days this weekend, since I've been a slacker.

Oh, I almost forgot. Another modivation would be, get hot, so I can have a fling with a hot Fireman! Yummy

Cosmo AKA Modivational Speaker

It's been over a year since I was really single (Yes there was some on again, off again, but I didn't see anyone else). Now that I'm truly single again, I find myself wondering what do I do?

Obviously, I'm a relationship girl. So, since I just got out of a relationship, I'm not chomping at the bit to date anyone. Besides my dates, end up turning into something serious....run AWAY!

So, what do I do to get over the breakup? I'm not the kind of person that mopes around, or listens to sad songs (no offense Rummy). I like to get on with my life. Life seems too short to morn something that could never be.

Anyways, enough with the phyco babble, what do I do now? Spend a HUGE amount of time with friends partying and dancing my ass off?

Get Fabulously thin and toned? Look so good that a grown man will cry when I walk by?

Move to New Zealand, open up a bar called "I'd do me" that caters to American tourists and sleep with a different aussie every night? I do love their accents!

Dilemmas, Dilemmas....

"Couldn't think of a whitty tag line" Cosmo

Dear Mr. Thatcher,I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 yearsand I appreciatemany of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weaveabsorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'dcertainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, whiteshorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings.Kudoson being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is thatmaxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel eachmonth knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from thecurse' ? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is startingright now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surgingthrough my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'llbe transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly withknife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seenquite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customersmonthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating,puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, cryingjags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a toughtime for most women.
In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urgeto shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just becausehe told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps.Crazy!The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is justcrawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to thereasonfor my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful Iwanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Alwaysmaxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words:'Have a Happy Period.'Are you ***** kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tinymiddle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughinghappiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentionedabove sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unlessyou're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin andKahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to thelocal Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end yourlife in a blaze of glory.For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap amoronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say somethingthat's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'VehicularManslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately,there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take mymaxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss yourFlex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending ********. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.Best,Soon to be inbred Hillbilly with Knife skillsAustin , TX

Sensible Cosmo “Cosmo, don’t you dare say a word. Seriously, I Mean it! You are just feeling emotional and taking things WAY to personal. See if you feel the same way tomorrow.”

Hormone Crazed Cosmo “But it’s just one little question, what’s the big deal? I’m just curious. I won’t get upset or mad”

Sensible Cosmo “NO! This is a Mistake! You Always regret it later! SHUT UP!”

Hormone Crazed Cosmo “It’s not such a big deal… it a small question. And I will feel this way tomorrow, so I should go ahead and get it over with. We will work it out & make lots of whoppi”

Sensible Cosmo ”Are you CRA-ZY?! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!”

Hormone Crazed Cosmo ” But….”

Sensible Cosmo “Zip IT! Zip! IT! Remember what happened last month. Just go to sleep!”

Hormone Crazed Cosmo “That was a one time thing”

Sensible Cosmo “ZIP…”

Out Loud Cosmo says to her BF while they are lying in bed “Do you appreciate when I do things for you?”

Sensible Cosmo “I told you to FUCKING SHUT UP! Did you listen? NO!”

Hormone Crazed Cosmo “It won’t be bad… you will see”

BF “What are you talking about? Do you think I don’t appreciate you? Why do you think that?....”

….A few minutes of conversation has passed
BF “So you think I don’t care about you?”


So there ya have it… the rollercoaster of PMS. It happens to me EVERY month. I KNOW I have emotional moments and that I am better off just keeping my mouth shut, but it NEVER seems to work out that way. It’s like I can’t control what comes out of my mouth. Somehow the conversation seems to turn (on a dime) from the price of chicken to how things are not going well in our relationship.

It’s like a god dammed rollercoaster. I try, really TRY to NOT get on that rollercoaster, but it’s like some unforeseen force pushes me. This force (lets call it the Pain In the Fucking Ass Hormone. PITFAH for short), says “Cosmo, your life has been too normal and great, it’s time to throw some unnecessary drama in the mix”

I hate the PITFAH! I shake my fist at the PITFAH! The PITFAH is what makes me yell at the Chinese take out lady because she didn’t give my soy sauce right away or makes me want to sell my own soul for Chocolate.

The good news is, I now know the PITFAH exists. I just need to figure out how to control this mad, mad, beast!

PITFAH “What did you mean when by the commit “I was pretty good” last month?”

FUCKING PITFAH! You’re EVIL!!!
Hormone Crazed Cosmo