DL Pictures, Ya gotta love them...
Ya know your driver's Licences Picture is bad when
- Friends ask, is this really you?
- Other friends (Less tactful ones), did someone just die when you had this picture taken?
- "This looks like a mug shot"
- A security guard (at work) suggests that the DMV is right down the street and they do pictures for free.
Since ALL of these things have happened, I think it's time for me to get a new picture.
**Update. The Security guard just called me (at work) and told me the hours & exsact location of the DMV. (After I got off the phone, I laughed soo hard I snorted.. FUNNY STUFF**
Cranky Cosmo
As long as Pinocchio's nose
What is up with us and our self image? I would LOVE to say I know some women that don’t have a self image, problem, but if I did, my nose would be longer than Pinocchio’s nose in that porno.
I was just reading some emails from OMT about how they don’t think they are good enough and it occurred to me…WTF are we women thinking? Seriously, so many women are wonderful and don’t even know it.
I have a friend (more than one friend) that is like a ray of sunshine. She radiates a warm energy that infects people happiness and positive energy where ever she goes. Does she know that, No. Ironically, she wants to be the person that is like human Prozac, but she can’t see herself for what she truly is. She seems to hang on to any negative comment like it’s the last piece of chocolate in the house and she is having her monthly visitor.
Another friend of mine is so strong and confident, until it comes to her future. Somehow she suddenly loses her confidence, determination and mental strength that normal exudes from her. Somehow she thinks she isn’t good enough, or not capable enough.
Then there is me. I went to lunch with a friend of mine and while walking through the cafeteria he asked “What is it like having everyone stare at you?” I was totally confused. Of course, I laughed thinking he was making a joke.
“Seriously” he said “what is it like? It’s like the flowers are parting for you. Everyone is looking at you, even the women”
I had no idea how to respond. He is only a friend, so isn’t saying this, to compliment me, he’s serious.
“I had no idea it was happening” I told him. It was his turn to be mystified.
How does this happen? We are born with a blank slate but somewhere along the way, we start doubting ourselves. We start taking things WAY too personal. Instead of thinking, Maybe my BF is having a bad day, he didn’t really mean to ignore me when he walked in. We tend to think, what did I do wrong and how can I fix it.
If I had a daughter, I would tell her, Love yourself! You will not be perfect; you will probably not make all the right decisions, but love yourself for you. Learn from your mistakes, take negative feedback with a grain of salt, and go on. You are the only You on the planet.
Maybe we should do the same. Learn to Love ourselves and be the best self, we can be.
OK, I’m done with my ranting (at least for now)
Crazy Cosmo
Vibrator or lounge device, you choose
Rss feeds ROCK! I can see all the deals on new egg, the latest update on my Favorite blogs all on my google homepage. I even have a few saved searches on Craigslist.
While looking at my saved search for "Couch" this showed up. http://orlando.craigslist.org/fuo/1141956936.html
Just in case the link isn't valid anymore (After an item is sold the link usually doesn't stay up) here are the details
We have a big couch we need to get rid of before we move out. It's in perfect condition, no tears, stains, or strange odors, from a non-smoking house.
Couch Features:
Two reclining seats
Fold down middle seat
Two cup holders
Vibrating seats
Vibrating seats? Seriously. I'm sooo tempted to buy it, but who knows what kind of
Couchin' (Not sure what that means...) Cosmo
The New Me....For Today at Least
Ever have one of those days where you just feel like a big kid playing grown up? Well I’m having one today for some reason. Perhaps it’s partly because of the way I dressed today – big pink sweatshirt for the frigid cold us Floridians are not used to. I was talking on the phone with a consultant and I just felt like “wow this is a cool job and I feel so important and I’m just a silly little girl”. It was a fun feeling that doesn’t happen too often since I sometimes get caught up in the daily grind and get in a routine.
I had another moment a few weeks ago when I went jet skiing in just my bikini and vest. I usually wear a big wetsuit and helmet so I felt so much sexier with just a skimpy bikini. I was feeling like a playboy bunny for a while there. Yes it’s a bit delusional but it was still fun. Unfortunately I discovered the sexy bikini thing right before winter so I won’t be able to do just the bikini thing again for many months.
Anyway, I just wanted to share my weird days when I seem to view everything from a totally different perspective. Maybe it’s just because Halloween is almost here and that’s definitely a time when you get to experiment with who you are. Let me know if you ever experience these moments where you have a totally different reality or if you just think I’m crazy!
Rummy “Pretty in Pink” Runner
The World's Shortest Fairytale
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl. 'Will you marry me?'The girl said, 'NO!' And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank margaritas, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, traveled more, didn't save money, and had all the hot water to herself. She went to the theater, never watched sports, never wore friggin' lacy lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants and was pleasant all the time.The End
Just thought you single ladies might enjoy this!
"Metro Muscle"
BTW, I’ve heard these are good gyms, 24/7 access for these Metro muscles (Snicker…), juice bar (What kind of Juice do peen need?), and variety of classes (endurance and foreplay classes are the most popular)
God Mobile Or Torcher Device?
Apparently, some state fairs now have God Mobiles. On one of Dawn & Drew’s adventures (a Fav podcast of mine) they uncovered one of the elusive heavenly vehicles. (http://mevio.com/video/?persona_id=739&movie_id=ee914d06492663d0fa1d6ecddb8fc0f0)How it works:A immaculately groomed carnie (carnival worker), has the psychic insite to guess if someone is going to heaven based on the suckers customers answers to two questions. Dawn and Drew fail to mention what the two questions are, but I can guess.Question Number 1) Are you the Devil in disguise.If the answer was yes…I think the heavenly carnie operator would be able to say “you are going Down-Town” with some authority.Question Number 2) Do you cut people off in Traffic
(Oh that can’t be a question, or “Down Town” would be grossly over populated & would include Me. )Question Number 2) Do you like Ugly Babies?If you say yes, which almost everyone would, the the person in question has a one way ticket to “Down Town”
Ok…seriously. The God Mobile operator would be the BEST job. You could ask all kinds of questions & tell everyone they are destined for the pearly gates. Everyone would be happy & the God Mobile would have Many MANY book ideas!What would your questions be?
Putting the Sassy in Cosmo!
Pee to run your car?
Leave it to me to turn a great innovation into something dirty & discussting.
A friend sent me this link (Thanks Plant guy!) of a car running on water.
Here is a quote directly from the newscast "Any water will do, even tea".
Here is my question, if you broke down, because you ran out of "gas" (water) and you had to pee, could you fill your tank up & go on your merry way? Talk about recycling .
Crazy Cosmo
NPR and Peens
Today on NPR, Yes I do listen to NPR sometimes. They were talking about how bookstores return books to publishers. And how it drives up the price of books due to shipping costs...ect...ect. Now for the good part.
A friend just sent me this link that chats about Peens & size of. Besides the fact that I MUST read (or at least browse) this book, I doubt this one will getting returned anytime soon.
Funny, NPR didn't mention that to decrease book returns, more books could be about Peens.
Wacky Cosmo
Build A Better Mouse Trap And You Will Catch More Mice....Duh
Yesterday I spent the afternoon checking traps for mice and other small mammals. There were no small mammals to be found but the traps did catch a spider and a lizard and I had the added fun of pulling two ticks off of me. You may wonder what this has to do with my chosen career as a petroleum cleanup engineer. The answer is absolutely positively nothing. I just heard of this opportunity and thought it might be a fun experience and a good chance to learn something new.
Stepping outside the box of my normal daily grind is not a new thing for me. I’ve always volunteered for extra curricular activities at work including demonstrating a 1½ million dollar prototype hydrogen fuel cell car, being a science fair judge and doing a controlled burn. A controlled burn would be a dream job for a pyromaniac since it involves purposely setting a forest on fire. What do you suppose Smokey the Bear would say about this? “Only you can cause forest fires, only you”! It doesn’t sound very environmental but I learned of the many benefits it has while I was choking on the thick black smoke.
So the idea of doing something outside my normal career path is not unusual for me. I recommend this approach to everyone. Next time you have the opportunity to try something different give it a chance. You never know what you will learn, who you will meet and what fun you will have. After all variety is the spice of life! The worst thing that can happen is you remove a few ticks, have a funny story to tell your friends and a little bit more knowledge to carry with you on your journey through life.
Rummy "eeks a mouse" Runner