Warning this may not be "Work Approporate" because you might fall out of your chair laughing!
Ultimate Breakup letter - breakupemail.com
Dear Creepy Guy that likes Shiny Objects,
I'm writing you this email because I think our relationship has run its course. Do you realize that you're a total loser? It might be hard for you to believe, but one thing I can tell you for sure: you really need to work on your skills in bed. I mean, you're just plain bad at sex. And another thing: take a freakin shower! You smell so bad that the garbage collectors wonder what the smell is when they come down the street. Here's some food for thought: you're an asshole! It's not easy to carry on a successful relationship with someone like you. And by that, I mean someone who is downright stupid, you feebleminded dimwit. Oh yeah, I almost forgot to point out that you're pure evil, a characteristic that most people do NOT appreciate. You might want to work on that.
What really breaks the deal is your horrible grammar. Srsly d00d, learn 2 rite a sentance!
Sorry, but you're not even worth keeping as a friend. Why are you so boring? I've seen rocks that are more interesting than you. I never want to see you again, jerkface! Stay away from me or I'll beat you with a frozen salmon. I think you get the idea: this relationship is over.
I hope maggots devour your testicles,Cosmo
Thanks catherinett for that Wonderful website!